August 2010
1 post
February 2010
1 post
December 2009
1 post
September 2009
1 post
Ah Dashboard… listening to you post-breakup is one of the 5 most dangerous things a person can do. I’d love to say I’ve never done it, but…
kelseyriewer:
Which of the bold faced lies will we use
I hope that you’re happy, you really deserve it
This will be best for us both…in the end
But your taste still lingers on my lips
Like I just placed them upon yours
And I...
August 2009
2 posts
tylerriewer.com
You win this round, my friend. My cavalier attitude allowed you to reclaim this prize. But some day, when your renewal is due, I will strike again. The asking price will be $30,000—due partially to spite and partially to anticipated inflation.
tylerriewer:
I purchased this domain in April of 2003. It was my personal website for years… until I accidentally let it expire one day and some...
July 2009
3 posts
Thought of the Day
This post is inconsistent with your previous e-mail about being to busy to accomplish certain life objectives.
tylerriewer:
Unemployment, like prison, presents an opportune time to pump iron and read books.
June 2009
3 posts
“Find what you’re afraid of most and go live there.”
– (via kelseyriewer)
Why would I go live with clowns?
kelseyriewer:
We walked around the garden.
“Those are peppers, and these are onions.”
“I like peppers.”
“Rub your fingers on this leaf. Can you smell that? That’s basil.”
Her eyes lit up.
“Let’s smell more things!”
So we did. And we looked. She reached her little hands up trying to reach the taller plants, and giggled over the fake owl that kept watch. She told me broccoli is her...
May 2009
2 posts
"Being Bill Murray" t-shirt →
Impersonations
Excellent. But, a few notes:
1. Captain Ahab? I assume you mean the character from Moby Dick. You do realize you cannot impersonate a character from a book, right? That’s kind of the point of a book: you get to create your own nuances. When I read this, I picture you doing a generic pirate impression, but with slightly fewer references to the plank, booty, and loot.
2. Bill...
April 2009
6 posts
http://thedw.us/page/2 →
Yep, I’m a geek.
The Onion →
Always there; nearly always funny.
Confession:
tylerriewer:
I’m not really allergic to bees.
I knew you’d come clean.
January 2009
1 post
Resolutions for 2009
I hate new year resolutions. That said; I’m inspired by this post. Ol’ Tyler; always making me better.
tylerriewer:
I know a guy who teaches history at a local high school. He’s about my age, and he’s working on his second book. He’s had articles published in several major magazines, he’s learning a foreign language and he takes piano lessons. I don’t normally go for the whole...
December 2008
1 post
Adulthood
Just made an offer on a house… and wet my pants.
October 2008
5 posts
Iran arrested pigeons →
I love these guys. Sorry this was messed up yesterday, I’m not sure I know how to use my BlackBerry yet.
“I’m also troubled by, not what Senator McCain says, but what members of the...”
– Colin Powell on Meet the Press this morning (via tylerriewer)
I agree for the most part. There is a problem if he claims to be a Christian, but he’s actually a Muslim. Not because he’s a Muslim, but because he’s not what he said he is. That said, it shouldn’t be a...
September 2008
5 posts
Philadelphia tomorrow!
tylerriewer:
I’m leaving tomorrow morning for the Red Bull Soapbox Race in Philadelphia. Corey Blade has been asked to attend as a celebrity judge, and I’m pretty freaking excited. It’s a short trip, but it’s gonna be awesome. I’ll try to post photos along the way.
I couldn’t be more proud of my little babushka.
“Mrs. Palin needs to be reminded that Jesus Christ was a community organizer and...”
– Wilke’s gchat status (via kelseyriewer)
IN WHAT SENSE WAS JESUS CHRIST A COMMUNITY ORGANIZER? TELL ME. THEOLOGICALLY, HOW WAS HE A COMMUNITY ORGANIZER? WHAT DID OBAMA DO THAT WAS COMPARABLE TO JESUS CHRIST? GIVE ME SOME EXAMPLES.
re: my humble opinion...
Hey Riewers (both of you). Shut it. You didn’t complain when the Democrats talked, so let the Republicans have their time. I had to sit here and read about how Obama will soon take his place at the right hand of Jesus as lil’ Jesus.
I know you’ve all drunk the Kool-aid for our generation. I’ve called out Tyler. Don’t make me call you out too.
PS Love you...
Post from Tyler
tylerriewer: A lot of cheap shots happening tonight. I have to turn it off.
Are you kidding me? And the other side didn’t? What was cheap? Have you been around so many unquestioning Obama-heads that you can’t see reality anymore?
I’m calling you to the mat, Riewer. Give up this liberal charade.
Change we can believe in! What a new and different kind of election. Way to go Obama supporters!
rylersociety:
soupsoup:
If Sarah Palin can’t prevent Bristol from being invaded, how can we trust her to protect America?
August 2008
14 posts
I think the worst thing is that I actively thought...
Me: Did you meat Shaun WHite?
Tyler: Meat him? no.
Dan: meet
Dan: shut up
Tyler: Is that some sort of gay, sex slang?
Tyler: "Man, I really got meated in the shower yesterday."
Dan: Did you meet him?
Dan: dick
Tyler: No, I did not.
Confession
This is why I love the Riewers… Tyler is totally serious in every word of this post. He both sincerely means the nice words and sincerely means the rest.
tylerriewer:
kelseyriewer:
Sometimes I miss my brother so much I can’t stand it.
For as long as I can remember, Kelsey and I have been competing for the “favorite child” spot in the family. Competing hard. It continues to this day. So...
WatchSorry, I know there’s been a lot of political stuff lately, but I think the DNC has pushed the issue to the forefront of my mind.
Also, I want to be clear. My constant harping on Obama is not so much that I think he’s a terrible guy. It’s that I think my generation is posting pro-Obama information like he’s Jesus without any real understanding of the political picture....
Alone
Jess and Nat are going out to eat. It’s time for some serious Kung Fu Panda videogaming.
Obama once again calls for silence of negative... →
I have never heard a candidate for major political office repeatedly try to silence those who disagree with him. If there is something to Obama’s relationship with Ayers, America needs to know about it.
Additionally, if Obama had EVER criticized Ayers (one of the founders of an organization that attempted to bomb several buildings in the US) the way he criticizes Kurtz, he...
“It makes perfect sense that George Bush and John McCain will be together next...”
– Hillary Clinton (via ucftheatrekid) (via kelseyriewer)
ZING!
Change we can believe in →
ABC reporters arrested while standing on a public sidewalk filming Democrat Senators and their donors.
“We’re Americans. We’re not big on quitting [except for wars].”
– Hillary Clinton [plus me]
Really Short Books
rylersociety:
Parenting With Love and Logic by Britney Spears
John McCain’s Guide to the Internet
Hilarious Nazi Tattoos
The Sexual Desires of Mother Teresa
How to Chew Gum
Rick Steves’ Best of Darfur 2008
The Cultural Impact of Dexys Midnight Runners
The Jewish New Testament
Michael Moore’s Get Fit Stay Fit Plan
Native American Guide to Real Estate Negotiation
The History of Crystal...
I'll say it right now...
Seriously Tyler? I’m excited you found someone even less qualified to root for.
tylerriewer:
Michelle Obama for President. Is anyone else watching this?
My day
10:30 - Wake up
12:50 - Kung Fu Panda
3:00 - Make paper toys for my daughter
4:00 - Watch show on National Geographic Channel about the BubbleBox building in China
4:58 - Nap
5:15 - Get ready to go to PF Chang
6:00 - Surf the internet
6:15 - Leave for PF Chang
What a great day.
“He’ll be okay. He has photogenic memory.”
– Someone at the PMBR review last week. He can’t remember a thing, but his memory looks in good in every photo.
I came home tonight and poured myself a glass of...
tylerriewer:
I don’t know why. I just did it. Some unstoppable force drew me to the liquor cabinet and before I knew it I had half a tumbler of Johnnie Walker. Thanks a lot, Mad Men.
The unstoppable force is called alcoholism.
July 2008
4 posts
Conversation with Tyler
Tyler: When's your bday?
Me: Sept. 13 and I'm hurt
Tyler: I was just testing you.